Midnight Sun(set?)

I'm one of those people who is always reading a book. It's just what I do. Right now, in preparation of the release of the final book, I'm rereading Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series. But since I'm buying the books as I read them, instead of borrowing them like I did the first time I read them, I'm currently waiting on the next book to come in the mail. While I'm waiting, I'm reading Twilight. Again. For the third time, actually, in as many months.

It's quite a bit different this time around, in a good way. A very good way; in between the second time and this time, I've read Midnight Sun twice. Any self respecting Twilighter has read Stephenie Meyer's unfinished, unfairly leaked draft of Edward's side of Twilight. As every Twilighter hopes and prays that one day she can find that special place in her mind where Forks resides with its palely beautiful inhabitants, and finish the story from our favorite vampire's point of view.

As I've said in other entries, I simply cannot imagine what it must be like for Stephenie Meyer, as an author, to have a trust breached and an unfinished first draft released for the world to see. Especially considering her obvious love for the character Edward...it must be kind of how movie stars feel when the papparazzi stalk them while they're out with their children. The inbred instinct to protect that child at all cost warring with wanting to keep faithful fans happy.

(Of course, I know nothing of either situation, and can only guess to the feelings involved. I could be horribly wrong on all counts.)

Thankfully for Twilighters, she decided to let us read her chapters from her own site, without the guilty feeling we would surely have to live with from searching out other illegal versions online. Which we surely would have done in our desperation for any and all things Twilight.

I'm so glad she did. That overhanging sense of guilt would have marred the enjoyment of such a wonderful story. And it is truly a story to be enjoyed. I was pleasantly surprised by the depth of the first twelve chapters of Midnight Sun. I think I've said this before, but, the love she has for Edward is something almost tangible, something that almost reaches off the pages and into the brain. After I read it I felt like Stephenie Meyer understood his character better than Bella's. Perhaps there was more of her in Edward, so she better expressed him. Or maybe there is too much of her in Bella for her to completely love her, the way most people have a problem with loving themselves as much as they should. She relates too much to Bella to be as involved and intimate. Or maybe it's just me.

Whatever the reason, it turned Midnight Sun into a beautiful, touching story, showing us Edward in a new light. We learn what he is thinking, what he is feeling, giving a whole new scope to tale of two lovers. When, before, he seemed slightly aloof, and completely in control, we learn that he is a wreck of raging emotions and conflicting thoughts, making him all the more "human" to us. We find out the moment when he falls in love with Bella, which is much sooner than we learn of her love for him in Twilight. And that moment seems much more monumental to me from his point of view than hers. She is, after all, human, and falling in love is human nature. He, however, has been wandering around for almost a hundred years feeling nothing like he does for her. Him falling in love is like me finding out I can read minds, perhaps. A completely dormant thing, which seems impossible until it happens, and then is undeniable in it's reality, because it's engraved in who I am.

(By the way, how cool would that be to suddenly discover a dormant psychic power?!)

And Edward's character isn't the only one we're given more insight into. Through his mind-reading ability, we get to know the rest of the Cullen's better as well. And Bella's classmates as well. Jessica in particular really stands out to me, perhaps because I had no idea how truly shallow and vile she was until Edward gave us a glimpse into her twisted little head. Poor girl, I could almost feel sorry for her. Emmett grew a lot for me as a character through Midnight Sun. In Twilight I couldn't help but pigeon-hole him into the "jock" persona, and he really is so much more than that.

Reading Twilight this time has been more enjoyable to me than the first time because now I know Edward. I know that while Bella has been sleeping restlessly, Edward has been watching her sleep. I know that the feeling of not being alone when Bella wakes up after falling asleep outside is because she was not actually alone; Edward watched her dream in the sun, and stayed still as a secret statue when her still sleepy eyes seemed to stare right at him.

It is with new eyes that I'm finishing Twilight this time, feeling even closer to my favorite vampires, and vampire-to-be. And I think that the same could be said of anyone who reads Midnight Sun, and then rereads Twilight. It is my sincerest hope that Stephenie Meyer can find that peace and ability to finish it, so that we can see the rest of the story from Edward's eyes. I cannot think of a companion book so desperate for publication, so perfectly executed. And that is only the first twelve chapters of a very rough draft!

Stephenie Meyer, hear my prayers: Please continue to gift us with your amazing ability and your vision of love that cannot be and yet still is. Please show us the rest of your amazing tale.

Please.